Poem

Days are long and so are the nights,
Get up everyday to win the next fight.
Take a deep breath, close your eyes almost there,
Keep pushing, freedoms coming, for this I swear.
Nothing that’s permanent is easy when done right,
You’re at the end of your darkness and soon you’ll see light.

❤️

Lost In the Darkness

(Old but finished posted in June)

A storm is approaching, can you hear the rolling thunder? It matches the thud of my broken heart, the sharp unpleasant sensation within it.

As the lightning strikes nature, this feeling of electrocution surges through my body. Every breath I take my pain increases, feeling as though my heart is being compressed.

All I want is to run into the pouring rain, close my eyes and raise my head to the sky while screaming

I beg the rolling clouds to release their smokey furry, to unleash earth’s tears. Allow your downpour to cascade upon me, washing away all the suffering within my heart.

Forces above, remove the wreckage that has emotionally trapped me for it leaves nothing behind but agony and torment. Cleanse and free me from all grief and sorrow so I may finally feel free.

Shannon

WordPress Prompt

Was today typical?

Isn’t everyday typical? We all wake up in the morning and have some type of routine. Whether it’s that first morning cup of coffee, first puff of a cigarette or jumping in the shower to wake yourself up. It’s all routine, is it not?

You then go to work, or start the day off by taking care of children and cleaning the house. Dishes, laundry and all the household duties. When school is in it’s getting the little monsters off on the bus. It’s a routine and it’s typical.

For me, was today average? Of course it was! Until I either hit the lottery or dig up some buried treasure not only will my day be typical, but so will my life.

Shannon

My Definition

What’s your definition of romantic?

Someone that is there for you emotionally and physically. A person that has your back in public even when you’re wrong (as long as it’s legal). For me it’s somebody that can love me unconditionally, overlook my faults and my pain. A person that won’t abandon me because of what others opinions may be. Someone that can work through the hard times, as long as it’s not something like cheating or physical abuse. A man that never gives up on US. That will fight for the person that he loves until his last breath. That looks at me as if I’m ALL he’s ever wanted.

And now I’m crying because this is all I’ve ever wanted in life, and I’ve had it recently and I hope that we can keep fighting. Because without him, I’m just just not the same. And I would rather love each other from afar, until we both were in the right position to come back together then to lose him forever.

Domestic Abuse #2

“You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender.”

― John Mark Green

It was dark for so long, I was lost and I felt completely alone. The one person that was supposed to protect me was hurting me. Causing some of the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life.

My heart felt like there was a giant rope around it, and on each end of this rope someone was pulling. Like a tug of war, but instead of one side giving up my heart was being crushed. The center was caving in, but the outside was trying to hold on.

Ignoring the pain that I felt, trying to get him to understand the pain he was causing me, thinking it would make him change. It only made him angrier and it made my life darker.

Where was that light I used to have inside of me? That happy outgoing flash of radiance, the glow that everybody loved, what happened to it?

His abuse happened, and it snuffed out my light. It snuffed out my personality and snuffed out everything that I had become. I was withering smoke that slowly slipped into a dark hole. Pretending to be happy in fear of him being angry. Really being completely miserable inside, never knowing what may upset him or throw him into a verbal rage. Where is my light?

Then I FOUND IT, I had to crawl through the last dark tunnel but there it was! The whole time it was buried under heavy rocks, loneliness, and piles of abuse. But it was still there, all it needed was one single spark.

Do not let someone’s anger, self-hate, verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse snuff you out. DO NOT surrender your LIGHT. 🕯️

Have a good day ❣️

Shannon

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No Time For Me

Being a single full-time mother is a lot of work. Not that it wasn’t already when I was married. I have SO MANY projects I want to complete, so many drafts I need to go over and post. And NO TIME to do it.

I have been looking for a job that I can schedule around my daughters and their daily lives. And that’s not easy on its own.

I’ve always been solely responsible for them physically, but now I have to be 70% responsible for them financially as well. With no family and a divorce in the works my load has gotten much heavier. My youngest is only 10, I’m leaving her 8 hours a day 5 days a week or more is just not realistic.

So, I started thinking about what I can do to bring in money, a few things crossed my mind and I decided to do some research. I mean with all the fetishes out there 🤣 there’s a few things I noticed that really bring money in. And hell as long as I’m not out there prostituting, a mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do to take care of her kids.

At the end of the day my girls need me, not working is not realistic and not being home is not realistic. So, work part-time outside the home work on home businesses when I am home.

And that includes this damn blog!

Have a great night ❤️