Category: parents

From An Article

It’s crazy to be given articles and read them, only to realize that my childhood most definitely affected the relationship that I chose.

For 19 years the cheating, lies and manipulation that Darius did, even to his own friends so they wouldn’t like me, it’s truly sad.

Regardless of what has happened, I hope he does get the proper help so he doesn’t do this to somebody else. I hope he gets the whole he needs mentally so he doesn’t physically and emotionally and even at times sexually abuse his next partner.

And the reason why I say sexual abuse, is through counseling I have learned the following,

Scaring someone into performing sexual acts they are not comfortable with, physical and emotional abuse so they are forced to perform the sexual act of your choosing is sexual abuse.

Never EVER allow someone to make you feel like you have to, to make you feel like if you don’t that they’re going to put their hands on you, or show you their uncontrollable rage until you do what they want.

I never realized how free I really was until November of last year. And had I not called the police August 12th and had him arrested for domestic violence, I may have never known that there are wonderful men out there. Men that will respect you, that will not make you feel like you owe them something sexually, that will appreciate you for who you are and the things that you do on a daily basis.

My children have never been this happy, they have never felt this calm and free. To see them no longer panic or worry or have extreme anxiety attacks everyday, I wish I would have left a long time ago. But it’s better late than never, at least I did it before he choked the last breath out of me. Like he said a few years ago, he himself was afraid that he was going to seriously hurt me or one of the girls. And I was in such denial, I was so blind and so emotionally destroyed, I wanted to fix him I thought I could fix him.

You can’t fix anyone that doesn’t want to be fixed.

Below is part of an article that I read.

Shannon

I Am Better Without You #1

In order to be a mother you have to possess certain qualities. You have to be understanding, compassionate, nurturing, and be your child’s biggest cheerleader in life. Just because you open your legs and give birth doesn’t make you a mother. She gave birth to me but was in no way a mother.

I was her modern day Cinderella, it was a name even my great aunt had given me.I couldn’t breath for 5 minutes without her yelling my name. I was born to be her personal servant. I hated my life, waking up was pure hell. But, there was nowhere else I could go.

She put that fear in me from the time I was a little girl. If I didn’t do something she wanted or perhaps I did something she didn’t like she used any emotional abuse she could. My mom loved to see me beg and cry. One of her favorite ways to emotionally torture me was to pretend like she was calling children services. She would tell them to come pick me up, that she was done with me and didn’t want me living there anymore. That I didn’t listen and she just couldn’t handle me anymore.

I would cry and beg for her not to make me go. She would tell me to go pack my bags that they were on the way to pick me up. I would say, “No please I love you I’m sorry! I promise I’ll be good, please I’ll do anything you want.”. She will continue antagonizing me just enjoying seeing me cry and beg. She would list all the ridiculous reasons she was tired of me. Looking back I realized just how sick and mentally messed up she was as a person, because the things that she did to me no normal person would do.

I would be forced to sit on her back and brush her hair until she fell asleep on the couch. I hated doing it, but I knew if I didn’t the emotional and mental abuse would start. So I would sit and brush and brush, and as soon as I heard her snore I would try to sneak away. I would slowly try to stand up and slide off her back and on to the floor. Sometimes I was lucky enough to get away, other times she would immediately wake up and say “Where are you going, I’m not asleep yet.”. I hated it, I wished someone else was my mother.

I was forced to make her bath water, I would have to go upstairs run the water and let her know when it was halfway full. Then I would have to sit on the stairs outside of the bathroom and talk to her until she was done with her bath. Most times I would have to run back downstairs and get her a towel from the dryer, God forbid she even made sure she had one. Then again I was the one that had to do all the laundry.

Then there were the days where I had to clean her feet. I had to bring out a bucket of hot water while she soaked her callous crusted feet. I would then have to take a butter knife and scrape all the dead skin off her heels, cut her toenails and clean the bucket out. The sad thing is I had to pretend like I wanted to do it for her, because if I didn’t I would be verbally and emotionally abused. Then the threats of children’s services would start.

This was from the time I was a child until I was a teenager. It was the most disgusting normalcy anyone could have. And it doesn’t even stop here. These are the little things that were done, I haven’t even gotten to the major.

From being hung over a banister, thrown outside with no shoes or coat in the middle of winter, and left in the middle of the woods in Pennsylvania, there are so many more TRUE stories that I will be telling.

What I find a little comical, is the fact that she likes to deny everything. She tells everybody that I’m mentally ill and I make up these lies about her. Sad thing is, I seen her abuse my younger sister too. We have about 19 years in between us, many times I just wanted to pick her up and run. Wishing I could save her from the torture that I experienced.

For now, just as I did at that age, she continues to deny and cover for our mother. But in time, she too will speak the truth. She will realize that her emotional trauma is caused by an abusive narcissistic mother just as I have. And she will no longer be afraid.

Shannon ❤️