Category: life

Random Life Thought

Sometimes you have to know when to let go. When to break free from a situation that has done nothing but hold your spirit down. A situation, that has on many occasions, mentally and physically destroyed you.

Your wings have been removed, you are grounded, but need to fly. You do not attempt to let them grow, you constantly pluck them so you can remain obedient.

As your cage grows larger and the bars stronger you are filled with sadness and loneliness. You will most definitely die wondering what real love, compassion and freedom is.

To have your wings clipped is one thing, but to have them completely removed is another. You lose yourself, you lose who you were born to be.

At first it doesn’t matter, as time goes on and your alone, your eyes open, you realize that you are nothing but a space saver for someone else. You realize that you are a backup for those that disappoint and that do not show up.

As soon as you realize this, your wings begin to grow, you start to flap them, and then you fly. You sore higher than you ever thought you could. And you do it all alone.

You leave without looking back, because after all that’s what they did to you.

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Shannon

More Posts Soon

I will be posting soon, so many ups and downs in the last two years. These issues almost destroyed me mentally, as well as physically.

Learn from me what NOT to deal with, read what I have been though, and use it as a map of where not to go.

I lost myself, I was on the brink of commiting suicide. There is NO person worth ending your life for.

If you feel like you just can not go on, please add me on twitter. My user name is Intherepairshop.

Gambling The Unknown

She cloaks herself with smiles and endless contentment to hide the torment she feels inside. Why is she so cemented to him? Just like a fly stuck to that aggravating tacky tape. Is it the rejection that makes her adhere to him? Is this why she can not let go? “She is needy, destitute.” That’s what they say, “She cant make it without a man.”.

But its not, for it is the love that makes her so unsteady and powerless when it comes to him. All the wonderful yet crazy times that they have shared. The laughter, the jokes and just him being there. “Whats wrong with me?” she says to herself. “Why does he damage me so, why does he not want me, but then he does, So do I stay or is it time to go?”.

She wonders, what has she done to this man, the one she cherished with all her heart. Yet he treats her like a stray dog, the mutt you feed then disregard. He puts her last, her feelings are void. She can sob and she can plead, yet he pays no attention to her needs. Even as the mother of his children he lets her heart bleed.

He cackles at her pain because he is in agony to, yet turns around the next day and says Please believe me, I love you. He kisses her head, holds her close at night, says hes sorry, hes fucked up, and he knows he is not right. He goes on to claim that he wants to be with her, he doesn’t want to give up. He wants to be married and work on it all. She wants to believe him, and yet she has heard this before. She gives him the chance to show her and gradually opens that door.

You see the thing with love and holding her heart, you cant assume that because she has, she will be there no matter what. There comes a point when enough is enough, there is no looking back, no do overs you see. Whats done is done, her book is now sealed with nothing more to read. 

And that is where she is, at this moment right now. She has tried to explain it to him, caution him and beg, but he assumes she will always be around. He thinks in the forthcoming she would obviously take him back. But she know she will not, her gut announces that.

So hes gambled with her heart, wagered her feelings for his game. Thinking he can have everything he wants, then come back and make his claim. But what he don’t know is he will come back to a colossal surprise. She will no longer be there for she is sick of his lies.

She will not be there, she will have moved on with her life. He will be the formal, not the current, nor the planned. The love that he gambled will forever be gone, his wife is what he wagered, and he lost her in his storm.

He will regret his game of emotional chance, as soon he grasps the reality that hes lost her permanently. No more take backs, no more lies, shes closed her book infinitely. 

 

S.L.B.A

 

Thanks for taking the time to read, hope everyone is safe!