I’ve been trying so hard this month to fight this depression. I try to force myself to get up and be happy. But it’s consuming every part of me. I feel like I’m getting hit by one thing after another, and I lack energy and enthusiasm for everything right now.
Counting the days down to the eviction is not pleasurable, my brain feels like it’s on one of those teacup rides, spins One Way spins another as you hit the walls. I feel like I have a thousand insects digging at my brain like I’m literally going to go crazy. But I keep trying to pull it back in and keep my head up I am trying to push forward. But it’s not working, it’s just not happening.
My anxiety is at an all-time high, everything either irritates me or makes me want to cry or sleep. I start having feelings of hopelessness, I start feeling like I’m a failure that I’m a waste of space. I start thinking of how nice it would be not to feel this way anymore. How nice it would be to just slip away from this human existence. It gets completely exhausting fighting to live all the time, never catching a break. Doing everything the right way only to constantly GET KNOCKED DOWN OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
20 days till Eviction how the hell am I going to get the money. Ffs
She's Built From Fire 